Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Five Things That Tell If A Woman Is Interested In You

One: Attention

When you are talking with her, does she linger? By linger, I mean, does she hang around long after you have run out of clever things to say? If a woman isn't interested in you, she will make up any manner of excuses or find real reasons for parting company. So if she lingers, you can use that as an opening to talking more, and then finding out if she's really interested in you. Does she ask questions about you, or does she just talk about things in general. Because if she asks about you then she's definitely interested in you. And it's a bad sign to think that she's interested in you if she's always busy talking about something else, because later on in the relationship, you will realize that yes, she was interested, but not in you! Maybe in what you know about, or the things you talked about, but if the questions aren't designed to get to know you better, than she isn't interested in knowing you better! And if her questions don't allow you to get to know her better either, then what's the point? You might as well go read a book instead.

Two: Direction

This may seem similar to some of the communications in number one, but it is not. The question is this. Is her conversation with you centered around something other than you, and other than her? In other words, when she talks about things, does she talk about things and not about people? You and her kinds of things, not just things about other people. If she does talk about you two, then that's the sign you are looking for. But if she just talks about other people, and never really gets around to talking about you, then it's obvious what's she's interested in: not you. And there's nothing wrong about this at all! There are six billion people on the planet and at least three billion are of the necessary sex, (or more depending upon your preferences!) for dating you. Move on, Dude, because at this point you may need to. So what if she does talk about you and about her? That's not only the sign you have been looking for, but as well, appreciate her for her interest. There are so many aspects of relationship that both men and women just don't pay attention to, because they are too worried about their own self-image. Get out of your head, guys, and look over at this delightful person who is talking with you. Wow! Isn't that great! And if you say she isn't delightful, then what the heck are you trying to pursue her for? Knock off the bull and admit it. She's great. And by the way, so are you.

Three: Movement

Is she always trying to move away from you? In other words, do you get the feeling that she's always trying to put just a little more room between your body and her body than you would like to have there? Not a good sign. Back off. Relax. Let her come toward you, if she's going to. If not, then you know. You will know whether she's interested enough in you to actually come toward you physically or not. If not, great! Move on. If so, then be easy about it. Let her lean in toward you and then enjoy basking in her essence. The hot and heavy stuff is for either couples who know right away exactly what they want, or for couples who have been together for a while. If you're not in either of those categories, then the best advice is to back off a bit, wait, and rather than "seeing what happens" instead, pay attention to what's happening.

Four: Continuance

Does she make any attempt at all to continue the conversation on her own? This is critical. You can't make all the moves. If she's not making any, then maybe she doesn't want to. You want to, and you're out there trying, but if she isn't doing the same, to any degree, then it may be time to move on. Or, you may need to just back off and wait for a bit, and see what she does. Or you could so something outrageously dangerous and actually ask her. "Hey, are you interested in me? How do you feel about us? Where would you like to see us going?" And then? Again, do something radically dangerous and when she answers you, and actually listen to her. You just may score more points this way than any other. In fact, if you just listen to her, really listen, that "only friends" thing may just turn out to be more than friends.

Five: Chemistry

Ask yourself "is there chemistry between us?" You can feel this. It isn't rocket science. And, you can feel if she's feeling it too. Look at her face. Is she smiling? Use your intuition here, guys, what's going on with her? You have to let go and lighten up in order to actually remove yourself from all that you are feeling for a brief moment, and then intuit what she's feeling. And if you can't do that? Well, then you're going to have to ask. Ask her. "How are you feeling right now?" And depending upon the situation, she may or may not answer you in a way that reveals all that much, because if you've been demanding as to her commitment, and she's just not ready right now, she's going to go for the "nice" touch, and that may mean not communicating entirely.

And this is the main point of all of this. Communication will get you either into or out of a relationship, but it has to be honest communication. People are only hurt when someone else holds back the truth, or doesn't say what they are really feeling, and that happens with both guys and girls. Speak it. What is really going on with you and what do you really want? Give the person you are interested in some space to figure out their responses regarding how they feel, for their answers to show up in. Maybe when she says "I don't know" she really doesn't. Not believing her isn't going to help. Ask yourself then, "Do I really want to be with someone who truly doesn't know how they feel about me, even after we've been talking for a while?" Who would want that? But so many of us pursue women who aren't interested in us, as if it was a battle/conquest thing, a challenge to "get" someone. But we don't ever "get" anyone. Either they come to us as willing and powerful partners, or it's something else. And tell the truth guys, haven't you had enough of "something else?" I know I have!

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